i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
operation harelip BJ is a go
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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