She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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