i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
