You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
