Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
