My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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