It's like God shit irony all over that family
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
