Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
