We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize