You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
God, you're like boner-b-gone
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
