am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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