her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
