What a fucking waste of an outfit
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She even gives head with a lisp.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
