He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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