So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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