Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize