I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
