He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
