wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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