i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
