If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
