So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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