If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
