Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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