I want to have your abortion
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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