when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
