I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
