if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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