It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
