The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
