got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
