so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
