After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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