like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
