lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm too high and old for this...
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
