my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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