guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize