there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
