he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
