thus making me awesome and them whores
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
