No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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