Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
it's like heaven, but drunker
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
