My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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