Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
