whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
