My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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