real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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