No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Randomize
