worst night to have a conscience
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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