I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
