Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
