i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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