As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
