Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
