NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
