Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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