You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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