you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
