you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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