I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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