the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
