I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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