Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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