You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
